Gabriel: Owner's Guide and Manual
by the shadow proves the sunshine
Summary: You are now the proud owner of a GABRIEL! In order to obtain top performance from your archangel, please follow the guide below.


Author's Note: Once again, giving you the specifics on the Team Free Will units(and just in time for Christmas!). Finals took over my life, but now that I'm a normal person and not a sleep-deprived college student again, I'm looking forward to a lot of fanfic writing over the break, hopefully including some more units! This one's slightly shorter than the first three, but I figured that was to be expected since Gabriel was in less episodes, and I would rather write a quality, shorter guide than make things up just to add length.

Disclaimer: I don't own Gabriel, any other characters, or anything Supernatural-related. I don't own the idea for the Owner's Guide, which was started in the Lord of the Rings fandom by an author who is no longer on this site.

**GABRIEL: Owner's Guide and Manual**

CONGRATULATIONS!

You are now the proud owner of a GABRIEL! In order to obtain top performance from your archangel, please follow the guide below.

Your GABRIEL should arrive fully assembled.

TECHNICAL SPECIFICATIONS:

Name: GABRIEL (also known as The Trickster, Loki)

Family: Son of GOD, brother to all ANGELS, but especially LUCIFER, MICHAEL, AND RAPHAEL

Species: Archangel

Manufacturers: Supernatural, INC.

Date of Manufacture: A long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, LONG time ago

Age: Older than you, the earth, and almost everything else in creation

Appearance: In vessel, approximately 5'0 in height, with brown hair and light brown eyes

ACCESSORIES:

1 ARCHANGEL SWORD

1 BAG OF CANDY

ASSEMBLY:

Your GABRIEL unit will be shipped fully assembled. To activate, lay GABRIEL units face-up in an open room. He will self-activate within 24 hours. Like all ANGELS, GABRIEL activation involves the breaking of glass. Remove all screens from room before attempting activation. We are not responsible for injuries caused by flying glass.

OPERATING PROCEDURE:

Your GABRIEL is user-friendly and has been designed to respond to voice controls. He knows all world languages and Enochian.

USES:

Your GABRIEL unit is efficient and useful in many situations. While GABRIEL's functions are not limited to these, we have found that many people enjoy these special GABRIEL functions.

CANDY-MAKER

As an ARCHANGEL, GABRIEL has the ability to make substance from nothing. One of his favorite things to conjure repeatedly is candy. While he will want to share, he will be more than happy to provide you with whatever kind of sweets you want. If you have children, we advise that in this function, we suggest highly supervising the amount of candy GABRIEL makes.

TRICKSTER

GABRIEL is also known as the trickster. He is great for April Fool's Pranks! While he sometimes uses his archangel powers for potentially deadly tricks, as long as you give him no reason to think that you're in need of just desserts, GABRIEL will be more than happy to do harmless tricks. Great for parties!

SOLDIER/BODYGUARD

As much as he tries to deny it, GABRIEL, in capacity as an ARCHANGEL, is a skilled soldier. While he will not fight except in the most necessary of circumstances, if you can cultivate loyalty over time with your GABRIEL, he will be a most capable bodyguard.

TELEPORTING

As an ARCHANGEL unit, GABRIEL has the ability to teleport. Afraid of flying? Teleport with your GABRIEL. Don't like long car trips? Teleport with your GABRIEL. **Note:** We are not responsible if teleporting with GABRIEL lands you in an alternate reality.

COMPATIBILITY WITH OTHER MODELS:

GABRIEL models only have two modes: "Witness Protection" mode, where he insists on only being called TRICKSTER or LOKI, and "ARCHANGEL WRATH" mode.

In "Witness Protection" mode, GABRIEL will be HIGHLY incompatible with all angel models. He will vanish angel models if he thinks they are capable of blowing through his disguise. He will be compatible with most PAGAN GODS. He will not be incredibly compatible with SAM and DEAN models, but he will tolerate them.

In "Archangel Wrath" mode, GABRIEL will be compatible with CASTIEL, DEAN, and SAM models. He may still annoy them, but he will fight on their side. He will be incompatible with LUCIFER and MICHEAL models. The eventual use of this mode may result in death of one or more archangels.

UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES SHOULD YOU ALLOW YOUR GABRIEL UNIT NEAR A LUCIFER UNIT! We are not responsible for loss of life that may result should you choose to do so.

PRECAUTIONS:

Do not expose your GABRIEL to archangel swords, strong magnetic fields, holy oil, lewd material, other archangels, prophets, or extreme cold.

CLEANING:

Your GABRIEL unit is programmed to take care of all necessary hygiene. As an ARCHANGEL that has been on earth for a long amount of time, GABRIEL is aware of social customs of hygiene and is more than capable of maintaining a socially acceptable image.

CARE:

As an ARCHANGEL, GABRIEL can take care of himself and is quite independent. Aside from outright abandoning him, your GABRIEL will be satisfied with the level of care and attention he receives.

FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS:

Q: Should I worry about my GABRIEL unit's dental hygiene?

A: This is a common concern, as GABRIEL units ingest lots of sugary candy. Fortunately for GABRIEL, being an ARCHANGEL allows him the privilege to have always perfect teeth despite massive consumption of candy. We cannot say the same for any GABRIEL owners.

Q: My GABRIEL units keeps placing me in time loops!

A: We're sorry; we are not responsible for effects of time loops(it's in our warning). Perhaps a more manageable ANGEL model is more suitable for you—we recommend trying the CASTIEL unit.

Q: My GABRIEL unit keeps creating all these sweets and I am beginning to worry about my health.

A: If the temptation for sweets becomes too high, we recommend buying or borrowing a SAM unit and using the "nutritionist" function. SAM will be more than happy to keep all sweets away from you at all times.

Q: Help! I think I've lost my GABRIEL unit!

A: Just follow the trail of candy wrappers.

Q: My GABRIEL unit keeps muttering "Just desserts" under his breath.

A: GABRIEL's standard method of operating is to give people their just desserts. As long as you have not been a giant hypocrite, you should be fine. If you are worried, you can reset your GABRIEL unit by pressing the reset button on the back of his neck.

Q: Are GABRIEL units compatible with children?

A: With a hankering to conjure sweets, play tricks on people, and an interest in lewd activities, we would not recommend households with young children purchasing GABRIEL units. Other than that, GABRIEL is compatible with most adults; and if you have a child, many of other models are compatible with children. We recommend buying one of those models instead.

LIFESPAN AND WARRANTY:

While we cannot guarantee a specific lifespan for GABRIEL units, you will find with proper care and precautions, your GABRIEL unit, in capacity as an ARCHANGEL, is immortal. However, due to violent nature of ARCHANGEL activities, we cannot guarantee GABRIEL's safety. We are not responsible for deaths that occur from a GABRIEL unit battling other supernatural forces.

WARNINGS::

We are not responsible for any of the following effects that owning a GABRIEL unit may cause:

Being dropped in worm holes, finding alligators in sewers, being stuck in time loops, finding massive amounts of candy wrappers every where, and being sent to alternative realities.

For any inquiries, comments, or complaints, please call 1-800-ARCHANGELS.


End file.
